We are not Alone: Moment to Moment

Novel Publicity wants you to know: We, are not Alone. 

As a response to negative mainstream news, Novel Publicity and its affiliates reached out to authors all over the world to come up with a positive response to all the turmoil we are exposed to in the world. There may be days you feel alone, like you are not part of your wider culture, days that you are discriminated against, or even worse, the target of hate crimes.

Below, you’ll see a personal message from the author, followed by a short story or poetry exclusive to our blog, resources, and information on The Trevor Project.

We’d love to hear your comments, and even better, we’d love you to participate in this series and see how long we can keep up the momentum. If you’re interested in providing a personal letter and short work of fiction on this theme, please submit to our blog.

Enjoy & help us spread good karma by sharing this post!


By Ally Mathews: 
Whether you are thirteen or thirty, everyone experiences doubt, insecurity, challenges, and moments of sorrow and loss.

It’s what we do with these feelings we experience, and how we react to our challenges, that makes us all wonderfully different. I write books because I want to provide a place for readers to go to escape from the pressures of everyday life. It’s why I’ve always been an avid reader and why I choose to put the stories in my head onto paper.

I chose to write a story for The Not Alone Project because I want to reach out to readers to let you know that we all feel lost and alone sometimes, but you are never really alone. No matter who you are or what you’re going through, there are people who care about you.

Love and hugs to everyone who reads this.

Moment to Moment

Time to start over
Hoping for a second chance
This time it might work

First day at new school
No one acknowledges me
Don’t give up so soon

Choose a place to sit
The empty table mocks me
All alone again

Last period ends
Nobody notices me
I’m invisible

Mom sheds hopeful tears
A new school is always hard
Was it a good day

It was fine I guess
Not great but not horrible
No one talked to me

My mom starts crying
Doesn’t know how to help me
I have no answers

Dad thinks I don’t try
You have to make an effort
Just talk to someone

Little sister cries
None of them understand me
Don’t want to hurt her

I glance at my scars
Not going down that road twice
Things might get better

Why can’t I change this
Make my own happy ending
How do I do that

Second day of school
I am still invisible
No better, no worse

Mom hides her worry
Dad masks his anger for now
We eat in silence

A badge of honor
Lines shimmer across my arm
They’re not scars of shame

My sister is scared
She’s too young to understand
Why I hurt myself

The same the next day
Nobody sees me or cares
I could be a ghost

So complicated
Why do I care what they think
A waste of my time

They think I’m worthless
How could anyone like me
When I loathe myself

Must end this cycle
If only there was a way
I don’t have the strength

They know I’m broken
Don’t try so hard to fix me
Maybe I’m worthless

Go to the doctor
Adjust your medication
Can’t feel anything

Cut back on the meds
You can do this on your own
Now I feel too much

I need to decide
Do I stay or do I go
Will anyone care

Time is running out
Need to make a decision
Choose darkness or light

I’m spiraling out
The pain inside amplifies
Why does no one care

Gravity mocks me
There’s nothing to hold me here
The blade sings to me

Class lasts forever
I retreat to my own world
Art helps me focus

One guy talks to me
Popular football player
Could this change the game

He waves in the hall
Others notice and wonder
Why he talks to me

He finds me at lunch
Asks if he can eat with me
What about his friends

You’re a good artist
These illustrations are rad
Where’d you learn to draw

It doesn’t matter
I don’t need your charity
Go save someone else

Show me how to draw
I’m the one who needs your help
Why can’t we be friends

Why would he ask me
Other people can draw well
And they’re not losers

Help a guy out please
I want to create something
Teach me how to draw

Can’t be seen with me
It’ll ruin your image
Find somebody else

My brother is gone
They told him no one loved him
Don’t listen to them

I couldn’t help him
It was already too late
But I’ve got your back

Moment to moment
Too hard to make up my mind
Don’t know what to do

Would it be better
If I never existed
Maybe it is fate

What is this feeling
Something new and different
It’s optimism

Are you teachable
Because I don’t waste my time
You have to work hard

He shoots me a smile
I think I can handle that
So when do we start

Mom sees the change first
Dad and my sister grasp it
They are so relieved

It only takes one
To change the situation
It’s worth the gamble

They care about me
No matter how bad it gets
I am not alone

Resources

Family Acceptance Project

2012 LGBT Homeless Youth Provider Survey

  1. Ryan, C., Russell, S.T., Huebner, D, Diaz, R. Sanchez, J. (2009). Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young Adults. Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, 123, 346-352.
  2. Durso, L.E., & Gates, G.J. (2012). Serving Our Youth: Findings from a National Survey of Service Providers Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Youth who are Homeless or At Risk of Becoming Homeless. Los Angeles: The Williams Institute with True Colors Fund and The Palette Fund.
  3. James M. Van Leeuwen and others, “Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Homeless Youth: An Eight City Public Health Perspective,” Child Welfare 85 (2)(2005): 151-170.

More about The Trevor Project

The following information is available on the Trevor Project’s website. We summarized here to showcase just a few of their amazing projects and resources!

Founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award-winning short film TREVOR, The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24.

The Trevor Project offers accredited life-saving, life-affirming programs and services to LGBTQ youth that create safe, accepting and inclusive environments over the phone, online and through text.

Crisis Interventions

Trevor Lifeline – The only national 24/7 crisis intervention and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ young people (ages 13-24), available at 1-866-488-7386.

TrevorChat – A free, confidential, secure instant messaging service for LGBTQ youth that provides live help from trained volunteer counselors, open daily from 3:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET / 12:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. PT.

TrevorText – A free, confidential, secure service in which LGBTQ young people can text a trained Trevor counselor for support and crisis intervention, available Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays from 3:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET / 12:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. PT at 202-304-1200.

Suicide Prevention Trainings and Resources

Trevor Lifeguard Workshop The Lifeguard Workshop is a free online learning module based on The Trevor Project’s in-person workshop, which is listed in the SPRC/AFSP Best Practice Registry for Suicide Prevention. The Lifeguard Workshop webpage includes a video, a curriculum guide, lesson plans, and additional resources for educators.

Trevor CARE Training – This training for adults provides an introduction to suicide prevention techniques based on Trevor’s CARE model (Connect, Accept, Respond, Empower).

Trevor Ally Training – This training introduces adults to the unique needs of LGBTQ youth.

LGBTQ on Campus – These online, interactive training simulations for students and faculty in higher education are AFSP/SPRC Best Practices for Suicide Prevention and were created in partnership with Kognito Interactive and Campus Pride.

Step-In, Speak-Up – These online, interactive training simulations for faculty and staff working with youth in Grades 6-12 are AFSP/SPRC Best Practices for Suicide Prevention and were created in partnership with Kognito Interactive.

Model School District Policy for Suicide Prevention – A roadmap to help school leaders easily navigate ways to bring suicide prevention policies and resources to their schools, developed in collaboration with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the American School Counselor Association, and the National Association of School Psychologists.

Coming Out As YOU! – A pocket-sized guide to inspire critical thinking in youth who are questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Trevor Support Center – A resource where LGBTQ youth and their allies can find answers to frequently asked questions, and explore resources related to sexual orientation, gender identity and more.

PSAs – Our current public service announcements, “Ask for Help,” are available free of charge for TV, radio, website, social media, and print use.

Community Resources

TrevorSpace – A social networking community for LGBTQ youth ages 13 through 24 and their friends and allies.

Trevor Ambassadors – Local volunteer groups in select U.S. cities (Atlanta, Chicago, Philadelphia, Salt Lake City, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.)

Trevor NextGen – Groups of young, motivated volunteers in New York and Los Angeles who raise awareness, develop leadership, advocate, and fundraise in support of The Trevor Project’s life-saving, life-affirming work.

Trevor Youth Advisory Council – This group of 20 young advocates, ages 16-24 from around the country, are trained by The Trevor Project to raise awareness about LGBTQ youth, mental health, and suicide prevention in their communities.

Trevor Advocacy Network – A way for Trevor supporters to take action to improve policies and legislation that protect LGBTQ youth.

If you are thinking about suicide, you deserve immediate support. Please call The Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.

To support The Trevor Project’s programs and resource development, you can donate here.

More from Ally Mathews


It’s the most wonderful time of year…or is it?

Christmas Eve is a night of mystery and magic, but not always in ways we expect. Things lurk in the shadows and they’re not the least bit jolly or merry. Let’s just say some presents are better left unopened.

‘Tis the season to be screaming along with our thirteen tales of holiday horrors. Ghosts. Monsters. Demons. And more! This Christmas, be careful what you wish for…

Edited by Shannon Delany and Kelly Hashway. Contributing authors include: Richard Ankers, Jessica Bayliss, Ty Drago, Judith Graves, Patrick Hueller, Ally Mathews, Laura Pauling, Boyd Reynolds, Medeia Sharif, Andrea Stanet, Lea Storry, Dax Varley, and Jacqueline Horsfall.

 

 

About the Author

Ally Mathews lives in Texas with three kids, four dogs, two cats, a rabbit, assorted reptiles, and her husband. When she’s not writing, you can find her reading, binge watching Psych, Scream, or Younger, and letting dogs in and out of the house. She loves to cook but hates to clean up afterward, and strongly believes that Disney World is truly magical. She has a middle-grade story in The Fright Before Christmas Anthology, and her first young adult book releases from Entangled Publishing in fall 2017. You can find Ally on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, though she makes no claims of using any of them properly.


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